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10 Stories of Revenge

1. When my brother and I were in middle school, he spread some embarrassing stories about embarrassing things I did when we were much younger. I started a rumor that he was secretly gay. The girl he liked believed them, and I ended up dating her later on in high school. She still thought those rumors were true.

2. I found out my college roommate was taking my old assignments and reworking my hard work to turn in as his own. In return, I got onto his computer and edited several of his assignments to easily fail any plagiarism check. Two of his professors reported him to the dean, and he was kicked out of school.

3. When my husband and I got married, a friend gave us a large box of unwrapped condoms as a gag gift. Six months in, things weren't going so well. To make things worse, I suspected the condoms were disappearing faster than we used them. When my mom went through chemo, I decided to fly home to help her out for a few weeks. Before leaving, I soaked a bunch of the condoms in pepper juice. Several days later, my best friend called and mentioned that she had a really bad allergic reaction to a condom. Once I got home, I asked her fiance if they had figured out her allergy, and he had no idea what I was talking about.

4. My ex-fiance and I stayed friends after breaking the engagement. A few months later, he had a live in girlfriend. She didn't know I was hanging out with him while she was at work, just playing video games and grilling out, or that I peed in her Listerine. They both had bad breath for a while.

5. In high school, my younger sister was always flaunting herself when I brought a guy around. She had long, beautiful, shiny hair, that she'd flip around practically in their faces. After the second time stealing a guy I was trying to talk to, I decided enough was enough. I replaced her conditioner with that brightening shampoo for blondes. Her hair lost its shine, and started looking ragged at the ends.

6. One of my annoying coworkers not only talked too much, but had evil gas. He was lactose intolerant, but kept eating these bean filled, extra cheesy, lunches not long before our daily mid-day office meeting. One day, I'd had too much of his yapping and complaining, and decided to send him home early. I mixed a good amount of milk into his beans. He showed up at the meeting anyway, so I thought he must have lied about being lactose intolerant, until several minutes in. We all heard him let one rip, and it wasn't just gas. He finally had to go home, after washing his pants out in the restroom.

7. When I was 10, my brother and his friends started playing stupid pranks on me and my friends, all the time. One time, I decided to get him back by mixing dad's ghost pepper sauce into the end of our toothpaste. He cried like a 5 year old girl, but knew if he tattled I would tell our parents about his own stupid pranks.

8. It's not really a prank, but one of my friends in college was becoming a severe alcoholic and insisting that he was fine to drive home after parties. Several of us decided that the best thing to do was to let the air out of his tires. He finally got the hint, and both cut back on the drinking and stopped driving when he did have too much. We may have saved his life, or someone else's.

9. An elderly neighbor used to make a big deal about how much better her roses were than mine, because she was more responsible with how she takes care of things. She was widowed and retired, so had nothing to do all day, while I was working, raising kids, and taking care of a husband with a demanding job. When she left for two weeks for her 50th class reunion, I had my rose bushes replaced with the most beautiful, healthiest looking bushes I could buy. She got back to her bushes wilting, and mine looking miraculously improved.

10. My brother left his Facebook open. Thinking I would post something funny, I poked around and realized he was cheating on his girlfriend, who also happened to be my best friend. His side chick knew he had a girlfriend and was online, so I led her on and then broke up with her, and not too kindly. I was going to post about it onto his account, but didn't want to embarrass my friend. Instead, I took some photos of the evidence to show my friend in person, then we both trolled the side chick for a few weeks.

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